August 30th, here I am again, just got back in Thailand after my 24-week in Melbourne. I am planning to return to Melbourne in 2-3 months, meanwhile, I have no idea what my life will be like during 12 weeks in Thailand.
It's like a miracle. It seems impossible how do I live without having a job. It's hard to tell..but it doesn't scare me much as before. It doesn't mean that I encourage myself to do nothing, in fact, I encourage myself to have more faith. I remember His grace and love for me. He is the God who provides. I can only bring praise and rejoice. In my twenties, He redeemed my soul from the battle, the struggle within. "No pain, no gain"..something like that....
He has given me so much! I got baptized 6 years ago and someone gave me these verses, Joshua 1:8-9 (New International Version)
8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Rome wasn't built in a day. A heart to be transformed takes courage and time. To become a couselor seems to take forever. 6 months passed but 2 more years to go....
It will finish in no time, hopefully.
Step by step..
Each day is a gift..
One day at a time...
My God is big, full of compassion and mercy.
Give me eyes to see your glory.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Everything comes from God.
19 August 2010 : Melbourne
My time has come to an end. My visa will be expired on the 24th. I'm not quite okay with it but I've done my best and I am saddened to write this. Anyway, I've achieved my goal! I got 6.5 on IELTS test within 3 months. It was hard living in a foreign country. It was rough living without having a full-time job. It was difficult living away from friends. It was tough living out of comfort zone. It's puzzling. It's extremely hard facing reality and accepting it but God has mercy on me.
I'm very thankful to be here and to be His. He provides me everything. I am fearful to apply for a program which I am interested in that I will be completely inadequate as a student with a stupid reason that I am not a citizen nor permanant resident. It discouraged me at times. But ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IN GOD! This is comforting.
I am getting into unfamiliar territory that I don't know about anything but trusting God. All I want to do is to stay in His presence because without Him I can't do anything. It is hard to realize Him every breath I take but I want to. It is not easy to give it all to Him. It is hard to surrender. It is extremely hard to say "not my will but your will be done" by heart but I am willing to.
I seek after God. I seek peace and pursue it. Call me a freak or whatever but I will not let God go. Everything in this world is temporary but I am able to enjoy it all. The best comfort, ironically, is the result of feeling my sadness fully, noticing that I will survive because of His love and grace.
Interestingly, being here in Australia as I also mentioned in my blog when I first got here that I had a new relationship with God-an intimate relationship, and another one that I was talking about the clutter (if you've followed me) Sometimes life is a mess although we try to make it nice and clean but we just can't do it, absolutely not with our own strength. I'm so convinced that “sometimes daughters of God can have messy rooms, and He loves them anyway.”
Everything comes from God. He gives and takes away. It's so true if you know what I mean. I am very thankful for what he has done and given to me. God is God and God is good. This is simple. When people ask you how to trust God? If you believe there is a wind and call it a wind. If you believe, then you can trust. It's almost impossible to me if you believe in God but you don't trust Him. Some people believe in God but find it hardly to trust in Him-that will work for them as they believe so. Have faith. You don't need reasons to see the proof. God is God. Everything on earth belongs to Him. God has given us everything: body, mind, abilities, physical possessions, even protection, not because we've earned or deserved this but He is so GOOD and MERCIFUL FATHER. So,I ought to praise and thank and obey Him.
This is my prayer:
God, I have cried out and yearned for your presence in my life, and I have searched your word to find my answers. I shout praises of thanksgiving. Everything got started in You and finds its purpose in You. To you be all the honor and glory. Your love is so great and I love you. You have reminded me in your word that "The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Help me to turn these fears over to you and trust you for the results--which will surely be freedom.
The truth will set you free and all you have to do is-- seek.
My time has come to an end. My visa will be expired on the 24th. I'm not quite okay with it but I've done my best and I am saddened to write this. Anyway, I've achieved my goal! I got 6.5 on IELTS test within 3 months. It was hard living in a foreign country. It was rough living without having a full-time job. It was difficult living away from friends. It was tough living out of comfort zone. It's puzzling. It's extremely hard facing reality and accepting it but God has mercy on me.
Colossians 3:15-17 (New International Version)
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
I'm very thankful to be here and to be His. He provides me everything. I am fearful to apply for a program which I am interested in that I will be completely inadequate as a student with a stupid reason that I am not a citizen nor permanant resident. It discouraged me at times. But ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IN GOD! This is comforting.
Don't allow fear to sit on the throne of your heart -- but make a conscious choice to place the Prince of Peace on the throne of your heart.
I am getting into unfamiliar territory that I don't know about anything but trusting God. All I want to do is to stay in His presence because without Him I can't do anything. It is hard to realize Him every breath I take but I want to. It is not easy to give it all to Him. It is hard to surrender. It is extremely hard to say "not my will but your will be done" by heart but I am willing to.
I seek after God. I seek peace and pursue it. Call me a freak or whatever but I will not let God go. Everything in this world is temporary but I am able to enjoy it all. The best comfort, ironically, is the result of feeling my sadness fully, noticing that I will survive because of His love and grace.
Interestingly, being here in Australia as I also mentioned in my blog when I first got here that I had a new relationship with God-an intimate relationship, and another one that I was talking about the clutter (if you've followed me) Sometimes life is a mess although we try to make it nice and clean but we just can't do it, absolutely not with our own strength. I'm so convinced that “sometimes daughters of God can have messy rooms, and He loves them anyway.”
Everything comes from God. He gives and takes away. It's so true if you know what I mean. I am very thankful for what he has done and given to me. God is God and God is good. This is simple. When people ask you how to trust God? If you believe there is a wind and call it a wind. If you believe, then you can trust. It's almost impossible to me if you believe in God but you don't trust Him. Some people believe in God but find it hardly to trust in Him-that will work for them as they believe so. Have faith. You don't need reasons to see the proof. God is God. Everything on earth belongs to Him. God has given us everything: body, mind, abilities, physical possessions, even protection, not because we've earned or deserved this but He is so GOOD and MERCIFUL FATHER. So,I ought to praise and thank and obey Him.
This is my prayer:
God, I have cried out and yearned for your presence in my life, and I have searched your word to find my answers. I shout praises of thanksgiving. Everything got started in You and finds its purpose in You. To you be all the honor and glory. Your love is so great and I love you. You have reminded me in your word that "The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Help me to turn these fears over to you and trust you for the results--which will surely be freedom.
The truth will set you free and all you have to do is-- seek.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Melbourne, God, and stuffs # 2
"Relying on God"
Week 12 : Another lesson learned.
I let go of wanting what isn't here now. Stepping out of comfort zone is challenging. I'm being stretched to place where I have never known. Who comforts me? God does. Through these years, now that I'm not surprised why things happen, about hardship that beyond my ability to endure. Living in a foreign country is exciting, yet frustrating for the first few weeks. The adjustment is part of living in a foreign country. God bless me. He provides everything.
Friday 28 May 10
12:51am
E- 3
P- 1
H- 6
F- 8
Yes, I monitored myself, not only today but I have been doing this for years. I sank into the great depression last year. With emotional pain, the only key is love and support from love ones. "Nothing taught me more about the love of my father and my friends than my own depression"
How to cope with it?
1> Besides love, focus on diet (avoid sugar), sleep, and exercise.
2> Switching negative to positive. It will go away, nothing stays the same forever. This too, shall pass.
3> Have faith.
The most powerful force is the desire to get well. If you don't want to get better. No one or even God can't force you. I guess this is why most people are trapped in their depression. They would probaly want to get out but somehow staying in depression made them feel safer, later on if they stayed long enough. It'd give them the feeling that they felt better to stay there than getting out to face anything and everything in the world. Depression became real.
4> Acceptance. The road is not meant to be easy. Life is difficult.
Week 12 : Another lesson learned.
I let go of wanting what isn't here now. Stepping out of comfort zone is challenging. I'm being stretched to place where I have never known. Who comforts me? God does. Through these years, now that I'm not surprised why things happen, about hardship that beyond my ability to endure. Living in a foreign country is exciting, yet frustrating for the first few weeks. The adjustment is part of living in a foreign country. God bless me. He provides everything.
Friday 28 May 10
12:51am
E- 3
P- 1
H- 6
F- 8
Yes, I monitored myself, not only today but I have been doing this for years. I sank into the great depression last year. With emotional pain, the only key is love and support from love ones. "Nothing taught me more about the love of my father and my friends than my own depression"
How to cope with it?
1> Besides love, focus on diet (avoid sugar), sleep, and exercise.
2> Switching negative to positive. It will go away, nothing stays the same forever. This too, shall pass.
3> Have faith.
The most powerful force is the desire to get well. If you don't want to get better. No one or even God can't force you. I guess this is why most people are trapped in their depression. They would probaly want to get out but somehow staying in depression made them feel safer, later on if they stayed long enough. It'd give them the feeling that they felt better to stay there than getting out to face anything and everything in the world. Depression became real.
4> Acceptance. The road is not meant to be easy. Life is difficult.
Melbourne, God, and stuffs # 1
March 2010
Faith vs Fear
"God is in control" How many times I have to repeat it?
Do you try to control things because you are afraid that if you don’t have control bad things will happen, or good things won’t happen? What is driving your actions?
What are you afraid of? Fear will cause you to be discouraged.(Yet, I still fear)Faith encourages you to move forward.(sometimes, I just choose not to)
I accept that I fear, I let it in and I let it go. I observe my feelings..until something wonderful happens. It does happen!
I shall fear no more for I saw yesterday and love today. God is the one.
No fear in love..
I have abundant to give..
And..I will continue to do so..
I rely on God and the best is yet to come.
Faith vs Fear
"God is in control" How many times I have to repeat it?
Do you try to control things because you are afraid that if you don’t have control bad things will happen, or good things won’t happen? What is driving your actions?
What are you afraid of? Fear will cause you to be discouraged.(Yet, I still fear)Faith encourages you to move forward.(sometimes, I just choose not to)
I accept that I fear, I let it in and I let it go. I observe my feelings..until something wonderful happens. It does happen!
I shall fear no more for I saw yesterday and love today. God is the one.
No fear in love..
I have abundant to give..
And..I will continue to do so..
I rely on God and the best is yet to come.
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