The hidden treasure

There's something has been bothering me for a long time, sometimes I didn't pay attention to it and it kept coming back. Now, it's knocking louder at my door until I have to answer and shout back " WHAT DO YOU WANT!?"

That's what I am finding out.

"turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God."

The journal of spiritual growth is the long one. It interests me very much so. Life is difficult.(you probably know)Are you avoiding, trying to avoid or facing it, the difficulties, problems, and whatever makes your life not so easy. Life should be easy? Who said that?

Life is always difficult and full of pain as well as joy.

We grow mentally and spiritually because of problems. Do you have ton of problems you can't solve? Be thankful. There are no schools or classes teach you how to gain courage and wisdom, only problems call forth, actually create courage and wisdom.

It's in process. There are problems then there are pains. I guess I understand why people go to the pub or club after work and get drunk. They think they will feel no more pain after all. They go out, they have fun, they leave problem behind, they ignore. Well, well, well, they know and some don't that in the morning the pains and problems are still there. So they keep going to do that. Been there, done that. It didn't work, there should be some way we could climb out. I was still wrong until one day I've gotten to know a man named Jesus. My life has changed, not that I have no more pain or no problems in my life but I have found my saviour who was, has been, is and will be my everything so that I can face problems and feel the pains and get growing, learning in process too. Through pains, I found Him, through painful pains, I get closer to Him. I've found the hidden treasure.

I'm closing my last twenties..beautifully. I'm going back to school. I don't read. I don't like reading. One or two sections in bookstore which can catch my soul to stop and read and continue to read are spiritual and psychology sections. So, pursuing Gradute Diploma in Psychology is going to be a tough one but I am ready for this challenge. Why Psychology? A study of soul or mind? behaviour? science? spiritual? I can't really tell you right now. The gift of perceiving things that other don't see will find me well to go on this road. I also would like to study more about integration of christianity and psychology. This is my life, this is my area of interest. If glorifying God means to be satisfied with Him first. Then here I am offering all of me to get a hold of Him.

So, stop knocking, silly. I'm coming.

Dream plan

Last Monday I visited my friend at her workplace. She has been working there since we graduated (6-7 years? she sticked with that while I have changed more than 5 jobs)She is leaving this job to London..to start new life after the break-up before getting married in about 4 months.

I sat in her office and started talking, " June, I wanted to buy a land in Chiangrai or Chiangmai. Imagine, my strawberry field and watermelon. I would hire local people so they would have a job and I would have a little small community. I would live with them and I thought that was what I want to do. I was not talking about church planting but I could show them God is love. I was not going to talk about God like crazy people try to force them to believe in God. I would live my life as God has designed for me and they would ask who is God. But I had no money..I might go to Australia, to study then work and save some money to buy a land when I turn to 50-60, I'd rather die in my motherland"

June put her hands on my cheeks gently said, " Wake up"

Mom said, " I'd go first if you don't have someone with you when I'm gone you better start thinking now..."

So, I've planned to be single too. Not really, I am just happy and comfortable about it if I find someone, of course...I will but right now, to be satisfied with God each day..is what I really want and I will wait.