Pain producing joy

Praise to God the Lord of all.

In my very first 3 years of getting to know God, I'd say it was literally great life experience. I glanced to other people and I thought to my myself why they had such joy? I've always looked for something meaningful. I've opened to God but not everyday(to be honest)I wanted and was trying to give all to Him in everyday life but sometimes I've forgotten Him in every other days as well. I've never had any desire to fill my life with drug or all activity on nightlife after sunset. There shall be something more than that- I always believe.

When the door opened, I entered. This is how the story begins how pain producing joy is truly true to my life.

Giving 100% to God. I had no idea if that would change anything. I am extreme person, independent woman and short-tempered. Bottom fell out of my life, God has lifted me up to the very top of my world. I knew I couldn't do it by myself without God's help. I have decent career which I can serve people at risk and other communities.

"I have a decent career which I can serve people at risk and other communities"

If I could go deeper with this sentence, I think it'd be a 3-year paragraph long written. Well, long story short, to serve or to be served? gotta choose one, eh? And the one I've chosen is/will never be the easy one. To serve or work for God and worship Him, I can't get any words beyond this. I've experienced great suffering and pain through these years before I can say "I have a decent career which I can serve people at risk and other communities" Who's in control? Sometime I forget though but I'd say that I am extremely grateful for pain as well as joy I have received nowadays.

Here is another verse..

"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."

God's in control. Year after year, the beautiful one, the living God has done many wonderful things as we see through those who are finally surrendered their lives to God and spreading the good news to one another. We are part of each other. We are here to encourage, support and love one another. Do we know them? no, but God knows us.

I'm very sure whatever path I am taking from now on. My God will always be with me. You and me, all of us. He will be the one I always choose to follow. He is my savior and everything. Through difficulties, I experience Him deeper and joy comes after clinging to Him. I will not ask for not having pain or suffering but I ask for God and I become one and that I keep seeking Him first.

I know I have been being hard on myself and trying to make everything perfect the way I know it can't be perfect. I know. Now that he's giving me another chance and He still loves me as the same. I claim this love and I am ready for wherever or whatever He wants me to be or do.

Take it all, God.. because I am so ready.

Rock Climbing

I bought a book “ The Road less Traveled” because the author started at the beginning of his book “ Life is difficult” To me, it is something very familiar, something that I know better more than some other friends.

"who has suffered from depression and has survived the experience long enough to try to do something about it-such as reading a book about it, as you are now ( I am now)-has the making of a successful climber." –Climbing out of depression

I went Rock Climbing a few times and I loved it. I had to try to find a better hold, I had to think which hold I could reach, should left foot or right arm go first? Sometimes I had to stop, I had no more energy to go on and I just wanted to go down but the trainer who held the rope encouraged me to rest my hands, my arms a bit then tried again, in which finally I did make it to the top and it was worth trying.

"It really is okay when climbing to come back down a bit, then go sideways. In fact, sometimes that is just the best way to climb. But that’s not how the society usually sees it."

It's best to climb with others. I cannot imagine myself climbing alone without my friends. We all encourage and help one another. I was giving up, I was almost reaching the top, and I was just wanting to go down suddenly my friend shouted "you can do it" and many voices helped me to find the better hold to keep going. I'm so grateful for my friends. When you learn to climb, you have to listen to a person who has more experiences but to climb through life you have to choose who you will follow, who is your leader and how to help the rest of people to get to the top as you climb many rocks ahead.

It's very intersting. I sometimes wonder if people will get it but I'm so sure that there are people like me, who want to finish the climb even though sometimes feeling like "can't do it anymore" But whatever it is I am glad about one thing

My sheep hear my voice and I know them and they follow me-Jesus

That's how I can keep climbing and going whether they are the cliffs, mountains, troubled seas, or deepest and darkest valley. I know I talk about suffering a lot lately but you know what? That is leading to the greatest joy after all, after all battle for something.