Dislocated shoulder

I remember that morning very well. We were up for morning exercise, having fun playing ultimate frisbee. I ran wholeheartedly to grab it, my beautiful bunk maid ran to the same direction, we smashed into each other and I was down. My physiologist friends came to check on me, I was fine, nothing has broken.

15 minutes later, I was walking and arggggg!!! I saw my bone on my shoulder popped to the front where it shouldn’t be. Everyone just left, there was me on the field, I held my breath and my right arm, walking as fast as I could to catch my classmate who was going to cross the street. I called him as I was laying down on the ground, fainted, hurt, and couldn’t move. I heard they called the ambulance, I heard they prayed over me. The ambulance came, they gave me something to inhale, smell not very pleasant. They called me but I didn’t answer. I didn't know when I arrived the hospital, I was half awake half sleep. The nurse gave me morphine, x-ray and x-ray an another x-ray, and I was waiting patiently for the doctor. During that process, they kept asking me the same questions over and over and over and over again and all I could think was “ just pop it back and stop asking me, I am freaking in pain”  but I could not do that, all I did was answering their questions with small breathing in and out and having light headed. Morphine was working! It also felt very comforting when the nurses were around but when they left, the sadness was entering in and I suddenly felt the presence of God and his whisper, “Daddy is here, don’t be afraid, daddy is here” So I talked to Him, “ Help me, for I don’t like being so much in pain like this, put me to death would be easier but if you want me to live, I don’t want to live with pain, help me!”

“Have patience” I believed the Holy Spirit tried to communicate to me that moment. 

God is my comforter.

I was still waiting for the doctor, it was the worst part..but the best part was the morphine that kept me high. Doctor came in, finally, praise the Lord! She talked to me and popped my shoulder back within 5 minutes. The nurse came after to give me instructions. I didn’t really know what was going on. Hayley, the staff who was there the whole time, I told her that Matt. 10:10 became real to me that morning, not because of morphine, but God came to give me life and to live it to the fullest!

A week later after I dislocated my shoulder, it has been really rough. I am right handed and now I have only left hand to do everything. It’s pretty challenging to eat with left hand. I overdid everything and refused to ask for help while my classmates were taking a very good care of me. I was being so hard on myself. I was sad, lonely and waiting patiently for God to answer why everything was taken away from me. One day, He spoke to me directly, “Because I want to give myself to you, Ja” It was a mind blowing revelation for me. That night, He became my lover. His love is like fire and all I want to do is to fall more in love with Him.

The next day He gave me a word “ Receive” He wanted me to receive all that He has for me.

I’m being nice to myself now and receiving help from others. God has helped me to overcome the frustration of having one hand and unable to do things as I used to do.

He is my helper.