My time has come to an end. My visa will be expired on the 24th. I'm not quite okay with it but I've done my best and I am saddened to write this. Anyway, I've achieved my goal! I got 6.5 on IELTS test within 3 months. It was hard living in a foreign country. It was rough living without having a full-time job. It was difficult living away from friends. It was tough living out of comfort zone. It's puzzling. It's extremely hard facing reality and accepting it but God has mercy on me.
Colossians 3:15-17 (New International Version)
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
I'm very thankful to be here and to be His. He provides me everything. I am fearful to apply for a program which I am interested in that I will be completely inadequate as a student with a stupid reason that I am not a citizen nor permanant resident. It discouraged me at times. But ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IN GOD! This is comforting.
Don't allow fear to sit on the throne of your heart -- but make a conscious choice to place the Prince of Peace on the throne of your heart.
I am getting into unfamiliar territory that I don't know about anything but trusting God. All I want to do is to stay in His presence because without Him I can't do anything. It is hard to realize Him every breath I take but I want to. It is not easy to give it all to Him. It is hard to surrender. It is extremely hard to say "not my will but your will be done" by heart but I am willing to.
I seek after God. I seek peace and pursue it. Call me a freak or whatever but I will not let God go. Everything in this world is temporary but I am able to enjoy it all. The best comfort, ironically, is the result of feeling my sadness fully, noticing that I will survive because of His love and grace.
Interestingly, being here in Australia as I also mentioned in my blog when I first got here that I had a new relationship with God-an intimate relationship, and another one that I was talking about the clutter (if you've followed me) Sometimes life is a mess although we try to make it nice and clean but we just can't do it, absolutely not with our own strength. I'm so convinced that “sometimes daughters of God can have messy rooms, and He loves them anyway.”
Everything comes from God. He gives and takes away. It's so true if you know what I mean. I am very thankful for what he has done and given to me. God is God and God is good. This is simple. When people ask you how to trust God? If you believe there is a wind and call it a wind. If you believe, then you can trust. It's almost impossible to me if you believe in God but you don't trust Him. Some people believe in God but find it hardly to trust in Him-that will work for them as they believe so. Have faith. You don't need reasons to see the proof. God is God. Everything on earth belongs to Him. God has given us everything: body, mind, abilities, physical possessions, even protection, not because we've earned or deserved this but He is so GOOD and MERCIFUL FATHER. So,I ought to praise and thank and obey Him.
This is my prayer:
God, I have cried out and yearned for your presence in my life, and I have searched your word to find my answers. I shout praises of thanksgiving. Everything got started in You and finds its purpose in You. To you be all the honor and glory. Your love is so great and I love you. You have reminded me in your word that "The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Help me to turn these fears over to you and trust you for the results--which will surely be freedom.
The truth will set you free and all you have to do is-- seek.
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