August 30th, here I am again, just got back in Thailand after my 24-week in Melbourne. I am planning to return to Melbourne in 2-3 months, meanwhile, I have no idea what my life will be like during 12 weeks in Thailand.
It's like a miracle. It seems impossible how do I live without having a job. It's hard to tell..but it doesn't scare me much as before. It doesn't mean that I encourage myself to do nothing, in fact, I encourage myself to have more faith. I remember His grace and love for me. He is the God who provides. I can only bring praise and rejoice. In my twenties, He redeemed my soul from the battle, the struggle within. "No pain, no gain"..something like that....
He has given me so much! I got baptized 6 years ago and someone gave me these verses, Joshua 1:8-9 (New International Version)
8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Rome wasn't built in a day. A heart to be transformed takes courage and time. To become a couselor seems to take forever. 6 months passed but 2 more years to go....
It will finish in no time, hopefully.
Step by step..
Each day is a gift..
One day at a time...
My God is big, full of compassion and mercy.
Give me eyes to see your glory.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Everything comes from God.
19 August 2010 : Melbourne
My time has come to an end. My visa will be expired on the 24th. I'm not quite okay with it but I've done my best and I am saddened to write this. Anyway, I've achieved my goal! I got 6.5 on IELTS test within 3 months. It was hard living in a foreign country. It was rough living without having a full-time job. It was difficult living away from friends. It was tough living out of comfort zone. It's puzzling. It's extremely hard facing reality and accepting it but God has mercy on me.
I'm very thankful to be here and to be His. He provides me everything. I am fearful to apply for a program which I am interested in that I will be completely inadequate as a student with a stupid reason that I am not a citizen nor permanant resident. It discouraged me at times. But ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IN GOD! This is comforting.
I am getting into unfamiliar territory that I don't know about anything but trusting God. All I want to do is to stay in His presence because without Him I can't do anything. It is hard to realize Him every breath I take but I want to. It is not easy to give it all to Him. It is hard to surrender. It is extremely hard to say "not my will but your will be done" by heart but I am willing to.
I seek after God. I seek peace and pursue it. Call me a freak or whatever but I will not let God go. Everything in this world is temporary but I am able to enjoy it all. The best comfort, ironically, is the result of feeling my sadness fully, noticing that I will survive because of His love and grace.
Interestingly, being here in Australia as I also mentioned in my blog when I first got here that I had a new relationship with God-an intimate relationship, and another one that I was talking about the clutter (if you've followed me) Sometimes life is a mess although we try to make it nice and clean but we just can't do it, absolutely not with our own strength. I'm so convinced that “sometimes daughters of God can have messy rooms, and He loves them anyway.”
Everything comes from God. He gives and takes away. It's so true if you know what I mean. I am very thankful for what he has done and given to me. God is God and God is good. This is simple. When people ask you how to trust God? If you believe there is a wind and call it a wind. If you believe, then you can trust. It's almost impossible to me if you believe in God but you don't trust Him. Some people believe in God but find it hardly to trust in Him-that will work for them as they believe so. Have faith. You don't need reasons to see the proof. God is God. Everything on earth belongs to Him. God has given us everything: body, mind, abilities, physical possessions, even protection, not because we've earned or deserved this but He is so GOOD and MERCIFUL FATHER. So,I ought to praise and thank and obey Him.
This is my prayer:
God, I have cried out and yearned for your presence in my life, and I have searched your word to find my answers. I shout praises of thanksgiving. Everything got started in You and finds its purpose in You. To you be all the honor and glory. Your love is so great and I love you. You have reminded me in your word that "The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Help me to turn these fears over to you and trust you for the results--which will surely be freedom.
The truth will set you free and all you have to do is-- seek.
My time has come to an end. My visa will be expired on the 24th. I'm not quite okay with it but I've done my best and I am saddened to write this. Anyway, I've achieved my goal! I got 6.5 on IELTS test within 3 months. It was hard living in a foreign country. It was rough living without having a full-time job. It was difficult living away from friends. It was tough living out of comfort zone. It's puzzling. It's extremely hard facing reality and accepting it but God has mercy on me.
Colossians 3:15-17 (New International Version)
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
I'm very thankful to be here and to be His. He provides me everything. I am fearful to apply for a program which I am interested in that I will be completely inadequate as a student with a stupid reason that I am not a citizen nor permanant resident. It discouraged me at times. But ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IN GOD! This is comforting.
Don't allow fear to sit on the throne of your heart -- but make a conscious choice to place the Prince of Peace on the throne of your heart.
I am getting into unfamiliar territory that I don't know about anything but trusting God. All I want to do is to stay in His presence because without Him I can't do anything. It is hard to realize Him every breath I take but I want to. It is not easy to give it all to Him. It is hard to surrender. It is extremely hard to say "not my will but your will be done" by heart but I am willing to.
I seek after God. I seek peace and pursue it. Call me a freak or whatever but I will not let God go. Everything in this world is temporary but I am able to enjoy it all. The best comfort, ironically, is the result of feeling my sadness fully, noticing that I will survive because of His love and grace.
Interestingly, being here in Australia as I also mentioned in my blog when I first got here that I had a new relationship with God-an intimate relationship, and another one that I was talking about the clutter (if you've followed me) Sometimes life is a mess although we try to make it nice and clean but we just can't do it, absolutely not with our own strength. I'm so convinced that “sometimes daughters of God can have messy rooms, and He loves them anyway.”
Everything comes from God. He gives and takes away. It's so true if you know what I mean. I am very thankful for what he has done and given to me. God is God and God is good. This is simple. When people ask you how to trust God? If you believe there is a wind and call it a wind. If you believe, then you can trust. It's almost impossible to me if you believe in God but you don't trust Him. Some people believe in God but find it hardly to trust in Him-that will work for them as they believe so. Have faith. You don't need reasons to see the proof. God is God. Everything on earth belongs to Him. God has given us everything: body, mind, abilities, physical possessions, even protection, not because we've earned or deserved this but He is so GOOD and MERCIFUL FATHER. So,I ought to praise and thank and obey Him.
This is my prayer:
God, I have cried out and yearned for your presence in my life, and I have searched your word to find my answers. I shout praises of thanksgiving. Everything got started in You and finds its purpose in You. To you be all the honor and glory. Your love is so great and I love you. You have reminded me in your word that "The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Help me to turn these fears over to you and trust you for the results--which will surely be freedom.
The truth will set you free and all you have to do is-- seek.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Melbourne, God, and stuffs # 2
"Relying on God"
Week 12 : Another lesson learned.
I let go of wanting what isn't here now. Stepping out of comfort zone is challenging. I'm being stretched to place where I have never known. Who comforts me? God does. Through these years, now that I'm not surprised why things happen, about hardship that beyond my ability to endure. Living in a foreign country is exciting, yet frustrating for the first few weeks. The adjustment is part of living in a foreign country. God bless me. He provides everything.
Friday 28 May 10
12:51am
E- 3
P- 1
H- 6
F- 8
Yes, I monitored myself, not only today but I have been doing this for years. I sank into the great depression last year. With emotional pain, the only key is love and support from love ones. "Nothing taught me more about the love of my father and my friends than my own depression"
How to cope with it?
1> Besides love, focus on diet (avoid sugar), sleep, and exercise.
2> Switching negative to positive. It will go away, nothing stays the same forever. This too, shall pass.
3> Have faith.
The most powerful force is the desire to get well. If you don't want to get better. No one or even God can't force you. I guess this is why most people are trapped in their depression. They would probaly want to get out but somehow staying in depression made them feel safer, later on if they stayed long enough. It'd give them the feeling that they felt better to stay there than getting out to face anything and everything in the world. Depression became real.
4> Acceptance. The road is not meant to be easy. Life is difficult.
Week 12 : Another lesson learned.
I let go of wanting what isn't here now. Stepping out of comfort zone is challenging. I'm being stretched to place where I have never known. Who comforts me? God does. Through these years, now that I'm not surprised why things happen, about hardship that beyond my ability to endure. Living in a foreign country is exciting, yet frustrating for the first few weeks. The adjustment is part of living in a foreign country. God bless me. He provides everything.
Friday 28 May 10
12:51am
E- 3
P- 1
H- 6
F- 8
Yes, I monitored myself, not only today but I have been doing this for years. I sank into the great depression last year. With emotional pain, the only key is love and support from love ones. "Nothing taught me more about the love of my father and my friends than my own depression"
How to cope with it?
1> Besides love, focus on diet (avoid sugar), sleep, and exercise.
2> Switching negative to positive. It will go away, nothing stays the same forever. This too, shall pass.
3> Have faith.
The most powerful force is the desire to get well. If you don't want to get better. No one or even God can't force you. I guess this is why most people are trapped in their depression. They would probaly want to get out but somehow staying in depression made them feel safer, later on if they stayed long enough. It'd give them the feeling that they felt better to stay there than getting out to face anything and everything in the world. Depression became real.
4> Acceptance. The road is not meant to be easy. Life is difficult.
Melbourne, God, and stuffs # 1
March 2010
Faith vs Fear
"God is in control" How many times I have to repeat it?
Do you try to control things because you are afraid that if you don’t have control bad things will happen, or good things won’t happen? What is driving your actions?
What are you afraid of? Fear will cause you to be discouraged.(Yet, I still fear)Faith encourages you to move forward.(sometimes, I just choose not to)
I accept that I fear, I let it in and I let it go. I observe my feelings..until something wonderful happens. It does happen!
I shall fear no more for I saw yesterday and love today. God is the one.
No fear in love..
I have abundant to give..
And..I will continue to do so..
I rely on God and the best is yet to come.
Faith vs Fear
"God is in control" How many times I have to repeat it?
Do you try to control things because you are afraid that if you don’t have control bad things will happen, or good things won’t happen? What is driving your actions?
What are you afraid of? Fear will cause you to be discouraged.(Yet, I still fear)Faith encourages you to move forward.(sometimes, I just choose not to)
I accept that I fear, I let it in and I let it go. I observe my feelings..until something wonderful happens. It does happen!
I shall fear no more for I saw yesterday and love today. God is the one.
No fear in love..
I have abundant to give..
And..I will continue to do so..
I rely on God and the best is yet to come.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Looking ahead
13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Who knows about tomorrow?
This is the 3rd week, I have been adjusting slowly. I'm trying to make the most of it even though it has been difficult at times being away from home. Life here is slower than in Bangkok. I always used to be busy so I don't really know how to deal with a slower pace of life-sort of. Ask me about tomorrow? Dude! Today, I don't even know how to survive. One day at a time! Yes, I can't help but wonder or sometimes doubtful what am I going to do with my future, school, life and bla bla bla...*sighs*
God only knows...
This is what I am doing, I will be thankful for each day. I'm thankful for the little things e.g. my blanket, skype, weather, foods, tram driver, teacher, classmates, church, friends, coffee, post, and etc.,
I am having a new relationship with God. Before I came here, I thought I had a really really good relationship with Him. In fact, that's true but if relationship means how to be connected or related with someone then this is going to be an another deeper level- "an intimate relationship" that I have never had with Him before.
So I sit quietly and wait for Him. You can't know someone you don't spend time with. Over a period of time, intimacy develope as a result of close contact with someone. Trust is built, confidence grows and heart changes.......
I'm not looking that far, I'm looking for today to be in His presence in everyday.
And..
"It takes two to tango"
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Press on
People : "How long have you been in Melbourne?"
Me : "7 days"
God is the God who provides and forever He is faithful. He does not love me less, yet keeps showering me blessings and love in everywhere.
First couple of days here, I felt lonely and unsettled but my friend's sister has been very nice to me. She has helped me to settle in, showing me around and cooks thai foods for me. So, I don't miss thai foods or thai language. I don't miss anything in Bangkok but people- the ones I love. I have been around in the city of Melbourne, trying to get direction and observe people and everything. The difficult part is to get used to with the weather. It will take another week to get used to it- I guess. I'm still used to with Thailand time which is getting better, I expect that next week I will adjust better with Melbourne's time because I am starting Language school:)
It's Sunday and I'm very thankful that I was able to go to church this morning. They welcomed me with God's love. In the Kingdom of God, wherever you go you know that you're not alone though I don't know all of them yet but in Christ, I'm loved indeed and through His people, I'm very encouraged to press on and reminded myself that I am here to reaching my goal. It will not be easy but along the road but I will enjoy learning new things with His people, cultures differences and etc.
God is faithful. I am thankful for this opportunity that He has allowed me to be here in Melbourne. I even thought to myself " Would I be able to to do this?, Could I do it? to pursue a degree in Psychology?! It was not like in a movie. It's very difficult.. to get there..
I can't do this alone. I put all my trust in Him because that's the only one thing I can do right now.
Seek first, His kingdom.
Special Thanks:
N'Mai-thanks for getting me in touch with P'Biee.
P'Biee-very lovely sista and you are too good to be true. Thank you so much.
My family, my best friends and love ones- for love and support.
N'Tool-God is a God who really provides:)
Me : "7 days"
God is the God who provides and forever He is faithful. He does not love me less, yet keeps showering me blessings and love in everywhere.
First couple of days here, I felt lonely and unsettled but my friend's sister has been very nice to me. She has helped me to settle in, showing me around and cooks thai foods for me. So, I don't miss thai foods or thai language. I don't miss anything in Bangkok but people- the ones I love. I have been around in the city of Melbourne, trying to get direction and observe people and everything. The difficult part is to get used to with the weather. It will take another week to get used to it- I guess. I'm still used to with Thailand time which is getting better, I expect that next week I will adjust better with Melbourne's time because I am starting Language school:)
It's Sunday and I'm very thankful that I was able to go to church this morning. They welcomed me with God's love. In the Kingdom of God, wherever you go you know that you're not alone though I don't know all of them yet but in Christ, I'm loved indeed and through His people, I'm very encouraged to press on and reminded myself that I am here to reaching my goal. It will not be easy but along the road but I will enjoy learning new things with His people, cultures differences and etc.
God is faithful. I am thankful for this opportunity that He has allowed me to be here in Melbourne. I even thought to myself " Would I be able to to do this?, Could I do it? to pursue a degree in Psychology?! It was not like in a movie. It's very difficult.. to get there..
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13
I can't do this alone. I put all my trust in Him because that's the only one thing I can do right now.
Seek first, His kingdom.
Special Thanks:
N'Mai-thanks for getting me in touch with P'Biee.
P'Biee-very lovely sista and you are too good to be true. Thank you so much.
My family, my best friends and love ones- for love and support.
N'Tool-God is a God who really provides:)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Following Jesus is more important than any career
First time I felt the tug of Jesus on my heart..it was during crisis of my life, it was when I was unemployed, it was a big challenge. Trust Him or never. I had nothing to lose and why wouldn't I? That was the BEST shot I ever gave and I've experienced Psalms 23 which I'll never ever forget how He is my savior, my king and my all in all.
I am following Him myself and I know that I am sinful. Sometimes, I was afraid what He would ask me to do...,do something I didn't wish or want to. I was dreaming long time ago and was just interested in psychology. Six months ago, I really wanted to study. Three month ago, I'd like to know more about it and was so interested in integration of Christianity and psychology. Daydreaming about one day I could do something or have meaningful job and live a meaningful life. It's not about the future, it's about now and when God's in everyday life, things seem to be meaningful and I am fulfilled. When God's in everyday of your life..., you don't need anything plus you can do anything (I'm not saying it's easy) I have been asked to surrender, and offer HIM myself wholeheartedly ...(you wanted to ignore but you couldn't!if you know what I mean) suddenly, you think to yourself "I'd better give it to Him" and when you do it, the heaviness became lightness, then you experience "grace" and you tell him "thank you for lifting it up, I feel a lot better and now what can I do to thank YOU?".
"Go", that's what He said.
"Go where?", I still wondered.
He didn't tell where to go but instead he was giving opportunities to choose. And how am I supposed to know what is the right choice?? The last post I said "If glorifying God means to be satisfied with Him first" then answer is already here.
If you see a fish tattoo on my wrist, it was about to remind me what I had experienced with him (I didn't even know what that was, I got a tatt just to remind me what I experienced) I assumed it's the calling.
I'm leaving in a month, going to where I've said above. It's so crazy.., but it's real, it was like a dream but it's real, so real. I'm not dreaming but I'm living a dream. He is not just God but LIVING GOD. I can go anywhere in the world and I know that He is with me.
A long road ahead of me, I can say I am so afraid but I am not afraid. I'm not confused, I am conscious and being aware of not so beautiful as in my fantasy world. This is how I am living my life, to follow my Lord Jesus.
Have faith. (although it' so a little)
Believe and be satisfied in Him.
Until our roads lead us to home.
p.s. don't forget to give what you've gotten. Pass it forward.
I am following Him myself and I know that I am sinful. Sometimes, I was afraid what He would ask me to do...,do something I didn't wish or want to. I was dreaming long time ago and was just interested in psychology. Six months ago, I really wanted to study. Three month ago, I'd like to know more about it and was so interested in integration of Christianity and psychology. Daydreaming about one day I could do something or have meaningful job and live a meaningful life. It's not about the future, it's about now and when God's in everyday life, things seem to be meaningful and I am fulfilled. When God's in everyday of your life..., you don't need anything plus you can do anything (I'm not saying it's easy) I have been asked to surrender, and offer HIM myself wholeheartedly ...(you wanted to ignore but you couldn't!if you know what I mean) suddenly, you think to yourself "I'd better give it to Him" and when you do it, the heaviness became lightness, then you experience "grace" and you tell him "thank you for lifting it up, I feel a lot better and now what can I do to thank YOU?".
"Go", that's what He said.
"Go where?", I still wondered.
He didn't tell where to go but instead he was giving opportunities to choose. And how am I supposed to know what is the right choice?? The last post I said "If glorifying God means to be satisfied with Him first" then answer is already here.
If you see a fish tattoo on my wrist, it was about to remind me what I had experienced with him (I didn't even know what that was, I got a tatt just to remind me what I experienced) I assumed it's the calling.
I'm leaving in a month, going to where I've said above. It's so crazy.., but it's real, it was like a dream but it's real, so real. I'm not dreaming but I'm living a dream. He is not just God but LIVING GOD. I can go anywhere in the world and I know that He is with me.
A long road ahead of me, I can say I am so afraid but I am not afraid. I'm not confused, I am conscious and being aware of not so beautiful as in my fantasy world. This is how I am living my life, to follow my Lord Jesus.
Have faith. (although it' so a little)
Believe and be satisfied in Him.
Until our roads lead us to home.
p.s. don't forget to give what you've gotten. Pass it forward.
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